Uninspired

today's not exactly one of my days. it hasn't been one of my best week so far too...since i turned 26 last sunday.
I feel useless, rotten, dejected...depressed. it feel's like i'm on my own in my own wretched world. my work is of no use. i need a certain amount of motivation to go on with my work...but maybe, just the thought of not having any work or money & be dependent on other people who will only treat you as dirtbag from day 1...now that should do it! That should get me back to my senses!
if only...
why am i always whining & fretting about my wretched life when the "taong-grasa" at the streets don't even give a damn about his! why can't i just be thankful for my life, for my job, for my family, for my hubby and everything! a hard life, it is! (maybe i should just see a shrink, no?)
i've read somehwere that "marriage should not be our sole source of meaning"
then what is? how long will it take for me to find out?
how long will i be blind?
maybe, i really need to see a shrink!

I'm turning 26 in two weeks & i'm trying to assess how far i've gone in this life.
First, i'm 10 months married.no kids yet. I have a day job for almost a year now. I still don't have a house, but me & my hubby are working on it.
oh my! that was it?! hmmm...what could i possibly miss?
yeah, it seems that was just it...so far.

my birthday last year was a disaster! i worked in this travel agency. i really love it there, no matter how tough it can get. i issued open tickets to 3 top honchos of Dole-Stanfilco. they were supposed to come home from manila on my birthdate only to discover i haven't finalized their bloody tickets! one of them called me up & really riled up on me. & i can't do anything because our office is close on saturdays! damned memory of mine! i really cried & panicked to death that i turned off my phone for fear that i'd get reprimanded by the whole Stanfilco staff!
after a while, i went to my mom house. had some pasta & ice cream. that was ok...until...
my hubby (we weren't married yet) & i were to meet at a mall. as usual, i was late & as impatient as he is, he can't seem to overlooked my getting there late! aaawww..c'mon it's my birthday!
It really fouled up our mood for the night even if we have our usual drinking buddies with us!

the next day, i had my hair cut really short! i actually wanted it to be really short, like an inch from my scalp, but the local hairdresser won't have any of it! she thinks i just need some chocolate to lighten me up! "what?!..do i look like a kid to you?! i just turned 25 for crying out loud!," hmph! don't bother!
then, when my hubby saw me, he was upset again! WHY? because of my damned hair!
WHAT IS IT ABOUT OUR HAIR & MEN?! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHY IT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL TO THEM?!

it was my last week at the travel agency since i already submitted my resignation & transfer to my new job at Maa. I asked permission from my boss to not show up at monday anymore, but she won't hear any of it. she wants me to exit "gracefully" so to speak! and not only that!
the last errand i did for her agency is to deliver PERSONALLY some plane tickets to Dole-Stanfilco! and not just to leave it at the guardhouse but to personally turn it over to Ms. Smugface, who happens to be the secretary of one of the people who missed their flight home because of me!!! what an impression i may have made! i just wondered that if ever i were to submit my resume at that place, will i ever get hired? hahahaha!

maybe my boss just knew better during that time. maybe she just doesn't want me to have ill feelings for the agency as i make my exit. maybe she just doesn't want me to hate the people i work with and to make peace with the people i've made unintentional major inconveniences...

What a way to ruffle my feathers!

My korean inspiration!

eversince i saw him in "Winter Sonata" in prime time tv, he's been an ispiration so far.not only does he symbolize everything beautiful but he also leads people to a new korea...they may not exaclty be at peace with their "other half nation" but there hardwork is paying off

they are so proud of their country. one proof of this is the sweeping cinematography of their countryside that are always present in their films.I admire the way they view their life...simple yet alive.

i know there's more to my country than meets the eye. she is beautiful than the whole korean peninsula combined. It is her people that destroys whatever she has.It is her people that stands devided & obscured from progress.It is her people that scrambles & fight for whatever little scraps that falls off the table.

my country has had it shares of trials & tribulations, i just hope & pray that after each disaster, a new hope & stength radiates from within to enable us to rise out of the ashes time & time again.