Rudyard Kipling really knows what it feels like

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaste
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run
- Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

anger

I am angry!
And to be angry is human... as padme pointed out to anakin once.
I am angry at myself, at my hubby, at my mediocre life. and i know i'm being stupid for letting the whole world know, as if they give a damn at my pitiful state!

But this blank space before me & this blinking thing seems to be my only solace right now.
I can't even throw a bottle at the wall of my own domicile! what kind of life do i lead if i can't even do the things i want in my own home!
I do such thing. I always hurl my anger at the wall! i feel drowned if i don't feel the sound of lightning crashes.it always feel like hell at the onset of such pain & agony. a place where i have been many times before. maybe i should have my own wailing wall...what do you think dakila?

my life depresses me. I don't know when & how i'll get over this...but it has too end.
Before it's too late...